It is so comfortable, being in our “dark” self, with all our negative self-talk. That nagging voice in our head “you are not good enough”, “you’re too this or that”, “Who do you think you are for wanting this?”, etc. After all, isn’t what we are used to? Many of us feel like this is who we are, but is it really? Of course, it is not! This is just the voice of our conditioning, what we were told when we were kids, at home, at school, and even maybe in church or sports groups. Well, certainly that was the case for me. There was a lot of shame thrown at me, all the time, and I came to believe that I was a bad person. It was so painful, excruciating really — as a young woman I felt like a fraud because I “knew” deep inside that there was something totally wrong with me, I believed it — but I was doing everything I could on the outside to look like a good person, a worthy person, someone with self-confidence.
In my thirties, I decided to make some big changes in my life because nothing seemed to work for me, and I was still filled with shame and guilt. I decided to ask for help because no matter what I was doing, my self-esteem was just non-existent. Looking back, many years later, I see that I was never a bad person, it’s just what I believed and felt. But feelings are not facts. I made a decision, yes a de-ci-sion to stop suffering. I stepped onto the path of personal development, transformed my sense of self, and built a solid self-esteem and confidence that allows me to be fearless in most situations. What a transformation!
I became so passionate about personal development that I decided to become a life coach. It’s been now almost three decades of working with clients, and I found over the years that lack of self-esteem or confidence is quite often a missing key in people’s life. I absolutely love guiding people on their journey to an improved self-esteem, it leads them to living in the light, to be joyful and confident. Who wouldn’t want that? When we make a commitment to ourselves and get the support we need from people who can actually give that to us, everything starts opening in front of us. It is work, but it doesn’t have to take a long time. Once you learn the tools and use them daily, it is amazing to see how fast big changes can be, it is almost immediate. It all starts with making a decision to no longer tolerate suffering and to ask for some support. You can do this!
What are common signs of low self-esteem?
- Poor confidence. People with low self-confidence tend to have low self-esteem and vice versa.
- Lack of control or extreme need to control everything and everyone
- Negative social comparison
- Difficulty asking for what you need or even to know what you need or want
- Feeling very uncomfortable when people give you compliments or positive feedback
- Negative self-talk
- Fear of failure
Generally, people do know when they suffer from low self-esteem – they just know, deep inside.
Start your journey to building a strong self-esteem!
I wrote an ebook that can help you get started on your journey to building or improving your self-esteem – my gift to you. Go get it here!