There are things I love doing.
I love creating art.
I love writing stories.
I love sitting down with an idea for The Bench and seeing where it takes me.
And then there is…
Social media.
Oh, boy.
😂
Let’s be completely honest.
I don’t like social media anymore.
Years ago, I was a Facebook fan. I posted. I connected with people. I enjoyed it.
But over the years, it changed. Or perhaps I changed. Probably both.
Now, when I look at social media, so much of it feels commercial to me. Everybody seems to be selling something, promoting something, building something, counting something.
Followers.
Likes.
Views.
Engagement.
Algorithms.
Post consistently!
Build your audience!
Grow your following!
Blah, blah, blah.
And somewhere inside me, a little voice says:
Do I have to?
😂
But You Have to Be Consistent!
I know.
If I want people to discover my work, I have to let them know it exists.
That means showing up.
It means posting.
It means being consistent.
It means doing some things that aren’t necessarily my favorite part of creating.
So I’ve been telling myself:
You have to be persistent.
You have to do this consistently.
You have to build a following.
And then one day I caught myself.
Wait a minute.
I don’t care about building a following.
I don’t want to be famous.
I’m not interested in accumulating thousands of people so I can admire a number on a screen.
So why am I doing any of this?
And there was my problem.
I had gradually lost sight of my why.
Why Am I Doing This?
Why am I creating the art I create?
Why am I writing children’s stories?
Why am I writing these articles on The Bench?
Why am I building a website?
Why would I bother posting any of it somewhere else?
The answer came immediately.
Because I have a big heart, and my heart is full of things I want to give.
That’s my why.
I’ve been on a long journey.
I’ve lived a lot.
I’ve learned a lot.
I’ve made mistakes.
I’ve changed my mind.
I’ve fallen down.
I’ve gotten back up.
I’ve discovered things that changed me.
I’ve learned to love myself.
I’ve learned to listen to my heart.
I’ve learned to trust myself.
And now I have stories to tell.
That’s one of the beautiful things about getting older.
When you’ve walked the path for many, many years, you’ve collected something along the way.
Not just years.
Experience.
Stories.
Lessons.
Questions.
Wisdom.
Love.
And I want to give some of that away.
Then Everything Changed
Once I remembered that, persistence stopped feeling quite so much like an obligation.
Posting something isn’t about feeding an algorithm.
It’s about giving something I’ve created a chance to find the person who might need it.
That’s very different.
If I write something that might help someone, but nobody knows it’s there, how can it reach them?
If I create a story that might touch a child, somebody has to discover the story.
If I make a piece of art that might bring beauty into someone’s home, that person has to see it.
Suddenly, the part I didn’t particularly want to do had a different meaning.
It became part of the giving.
Persistence became an act of love.
You Don’t Have to Love Every Part
I think sometimes we assume that if something is truly aligned with us, we’re supposed to enjoy every part of it.
I don’t believe that anymore.
I can love creating art and dislike some of the work involved in selling it.
I can love writing and not particularly enjoy everything required to promote what I’ve written.
I can deeply believe in what I’m creating and still occasionally think:
Oh, good grief. Do I really have to do this part?
😂
Apparently, yes.
But there’s an enormous difference between:
I have to do this.
and:
I choose to do this because it serves something I love.
The task hasn’t changed.
My relationship with the task has.
What Is Your Why?
Maybe there’s something in your own life that once mattered deeply to you but has gradually started feeling like an obligation.
Perhaps you’ve become so focused on everything required to do it that you’ve forgotten why you started.
Why are you building the business?
Why are you taking the class?
Why are you saving the money?
Why are you exercising?
Why are you writing the book?
Why are you making the change?
Why are you getting up and doing this again today?
Not why you’re supposed to do it.
Why does it matter to you?
Sometimes the answer changes everything.
The tedious task may still be tedious.
The difficult part may still be difficult.
You may still not particularly want to do it.
But now it belongs to something larger.
Something you’ve chosen.
Just One More Day
Persistence sounds enormous when we imagine doing something forever.
I have to keep doing this and doing this and doing this…
No wonder we resist.
But I don’t have to be persistent forever today.
I only have to show up today.
Tomorrow, I can choose again.
And the day after that, I can choose again.
One day at a time, my friends.
So when something important begins to feel like one more obligation on your list, perhaps don’t immediately ask yourself how you’re going to force yourself to keep going.
Ask yourself something else:
Why did I choose this in the first place?
Find your why again.
Put it back in front of you.
And then take the next step.
For me, that means I’ll probably have to make peace with social media.
😂
Not because I suddenly love it.
Not because I need to be famous.
Not because I want an impressive number of followers.
But because my heart is full.
And if I have something I want to give, part of the giving is making sure people have a chance to find it.
That’s a why I can get up for tomorrow.
And today.
One day at a time. ❤️