I have a little campaign going at Forsyth Park.
Nobody officially joined.
There are no membership cards.
No meetings.
No fundraising.
Actually, most of the people who participate don’t even know they’re participating until I catch them.
😂
My campaign is against a little malady I hear all the time.
Especially from women.
It’s called:
“I’m sorry.”
I’m Sorry!
Here’s what happens.
I’m standing at my booth talking with someone.
I drop something.
And the woman standing in front of me says:
“Oh! I’m sorry!”
Wait.
What?
You’re sorry?
I dropped it!
😂
That’s when my campaign springs into action.
I stop everything.
Sometimes I take her hands, look directly at her and say:
“Take it back!”
At first she usually looks completely confused.
“Take what back?”
“You just said you’re sorry. You didn’t do anything. Take it back!”
And then we laugh.
But I’m serious.
Because I hear this all the time.
Women apologizing for things they didn’t do.
Apologizing because someone bumped into them.
Apologizing because they need to get past someone.
Apologizing before asking a question.
Apologizing because they didn’t hear something.
Apologizing for taking a moment of somebody’s time.
Sometimes it seems as though we’re apologizing simply because…
we’re here.
And here’s my favorite.
Once I point it out, sometimes a woman catches herself doing it again and says:
“Oh! Sorry! I said I’m sorry again!”
😂
And I say:
“You just apologized for apologizing! TAKE THAT ONE BACK TOO!”
By then we’re both laughing.
But underneath the laughter is something important.
She didn’t decide to apologize.
The words came out before she even thought about them.
That’s how deeply some of these little habits can live inside us.
How Much Space Are You Allowed to Take?
For generations, girls received messages about what it meant to be a “good girl.”
Be nice.
Be polite.
Don’t be too loud.
Don’t get your dress dirty.
Don’t make a scene.
Don’t be difficult.
Don’t be angry.
Don’t make other people uncomfortable.
Be agreeable.
Be pretty.
Behave.
And although a great deal has changed for women, I think some of those old messages are still hiding inside us.
They’ve been passed down through generations, sometimes so quietly that we don’t even recognize them anymore.
Nobody has to stand over us saying:
“Make yourself smaller.”
We learned how.
And sometimes I think those two little words—
I’m sorry
—are one of the places where that conditioning still slips out.
This Isn’t About Blaming Anyone
I don’t blame men for this.
Most men didn’t create the rules they inherited either.
Some may behave toward women in ways they’ve never examined simply because those behaviors were normal in the world in which they grew up.
And I don’t blame women.
Good heavens.
How could I?
We can’t become conscious of something until we become conscious of it.
This isn’t about women against men.
It isn’t about fighting anybody.
In fact, I don’t want you to stand against anything.
I want you to stand in something.
Yourself.
Your voice.
Your intelligence.
Your talent.
Your strength.
Your right to occupy your own space.
Listen to Yourself for One Day
Here’s my invitation.
For just one day, notice every time you say:
“I’m sorry.”
Don’t try to stop yourself yet.
Just notice.
And when you catch one, ask:
Did I actually do something that requires an apology?
Sometimes the answer will be yes.
Wonderful.
Apologize.
A sincere apology is a beautiful thing. It requires awareness, humility and responsibility.
But if the answer is no…
TAKE IT BACK!
😂
You don’t need to apologize because you have a question.
You don’t need to apologize because you disagree.
You don’t need to apologize because you need something.
You don’t need to apologize for having an opinion.
You don’t need to apologize for occupying somebody’s time when they have freely chosen to give it to you.
And you certainly don’t need to apologize because somebody else dropped something.
Stand in Your Power
I plant a lot of little seeds at the park.
This is one of my favorites.
Sometimes after I say “Take it back!” a woman laughs.
Sometimes she looks surprised.
And sometimes something changes in her face.
It’s as though she suddenly hears herself.
Maybe for the first time.
And that’s all I want.
A little moment of awareness.
A seed.
Because standing in our power doesn’t always begin with some enormous act of courage.
Sometimes it begins with noticing two words that automatically come out of our mouths.
Sometimes it begins with realizing:
I didn’t do anything wrong.
And sometimes it begins with someone at an art booth in Savannah grabbing your hands and saying:
“Take it back!”
😂
So I’m expanding my campaign.
You’re officially invited.
For one day, listen to yourself.
And if you catch yourself apologizing for simply having a voice, having a need, having an opinion, taking up space or being fully yourself…
you already know what I’m going to say.
Take it back.
Stand in your power.
Not against men.
Not against other women.
Not against the world.
Just in yourself.
You don’t have to become louder.
You don’t have to become harder.
You don’t have to prove anything.
You simply don’t have to shrink.
You are beautiful.
You are talented.
You are smart.
You are powerful.
You are magical.
And you have absolutely nothing to apologize for simply because you are here.
Take it back, girl. ❤️